You're here!

Welcome, Baby D!

You've only been in our lives for 6 days, but you have made our family complete.

Born 12/21/07, 8:23am. 7 lbs 2oz, 19.5 inches. Absolutely beautiful.

It's time!

Baby D, tomorrow at this time, I will be in the hospital, anxiously awaiting your arrival. Almost everything is set - I have a couple more things to through into my bag for the hospital, and just a couple more things to tweak in your nursery.

The past couple of weeks have been hard - all the waiting, all the fatigue, the pain. But they've been good, too... I'm "nesting" and getting tons done around the house... Big Boy has been exceptionally patient with me, and his kindness and loving ways are showing forth even now. We are having a lot of great family time together as Daddy is helping get ready for you to come, too.

So, my little one, I may not write here soon - but as soon as I can I will post pictures and stories about your birth. I love you and I can't wait to meet you!

no camera!

I have no camera... I feel a little lost! No spontaneous pictures to show.... wait, here's one!

Here you are, Big Boy, in a moon-bounce (is that what they call these things?) - all by yourself for the first time! (This was taken and downloaded before I left my camera at the in-laws.... sigh...)

I think this has inspired a desire to jump. You've been working really hard at it lately, and yesterday, both feet cleared the floor at the same time! Only by an inch, but you hopped! And hopped and hopped and hopped.... man, you're a busy kid! And you're so proud of yourself!

I'm proud of you, too, my little lovebug!

Christmas favorites, continued....

I love Christmas trees. Specifically, I love our Christmas tree. It's a mish-mash of ornaments that have made it our way through the years, along with some white lights and berry garland, which I think ties the whole thing together.

oh amanda is asking about our favorite ornaments now.... and like her, I can't pick just one! Heck, I had a hard enough time just picking these 3! But they are all in their own category, so I couldn't really separate just one out....

This first picture is of my favorite "ornament" ornament. It has a lot of special meaning to me.... I got it my senior year in high school, when I was singing with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra Chorus. It was an amazing year for me, and we were in the middle of the Robert Shaw Christmas concert performances - I think there were at least 4 or 5 performances for the Christmas season, and they were all sold out. It was a beautiful concert, with the Morehouse College Glee Club and a children's choir singing with us, too. They each did some songs by themselves, and the ASO Chorus did a lot of songs by ourselves, and then we added all 3 choruses together for several songs, too. Imagine over 300 voices raised in song, with a symphony as well. wow....

I was in the lobby of the Symphony Hall, I imagine taking in the crowd and the atmosphere, maybe waiting for Mom. I know I was waiting for her that day, as she is the one who actually purchased the ornament for me (each time I drove into Atlanta, I had to have someone with me, as I was only 17 and Mom and Dad did not want me driving through the city by myself at that time. A lot of my friends joined me in the car for those Monday night rehearsals, and one person came to a concert at a time so I could sing at each one). I fell in love with this little angel ornament at the gift area in the lobby. It's hard to see in this photo, but she's holding a french horn. I thought she would perfectly symbolize this time in my life for me, and at the tender age of 17, I saw how I could cherish this ornament for years to come. I was so right... I love finding this ornament in my boxes and adding it to the tree (normally towards the top).

The next is my favorite "non-ornament" ornament. It has not hung on a tree until recently... until I moved to Richmond in 2000 and started having my own Christmas trees. Prior to that (and prior to my college days), this little girl used to hang on my bedroom door during the Christmas season. She's a little framed cross-stitched girl - no larger than 3 inches in diameter, total. She is hanging an ornament on her tree... My brother has one like it, with a little boy doing something Christmas-y (I have no idea what his is - I haven't seen his in years).

I loved it when Mom would hang this on the little nail that was on my bedroom door - when I was smaller, I thought that this would let Santa know which room I was sleeping in, so if he needed or wanted to come and see me while he was delivering gifts, he'd know which door to come in. And I remember just sitting and looking at it for long stretches of time... I'm not sure why exactly, but it fascinated me. Now, the memories fascinate me. It always makes me smile when I put this on the tree. I'll have to ask my mom who made this for me, as I have no memory of that.

Finally, a recent addition... a "children's" ornament, for my Big Boy. Until yesterday, I thought this was one that I purchased for my brother, UncaDo. I had no recollection of when else I would've gotten it, as the only one I remember buying was for him several years ago, and he has given Big Boy several of his own things (robots, stuffed animals, etc.) that he thinks the Big Boy would enjoy. But I found out yesterday at my sister-in-law's house that my mother-in-law, Emmi, got this for the Big Boy last year. I saw one just like it on my niece's tree, and my SIL mentioned something about how much she loved it, too. Emmi was there, as well, and she didn't even remember buying it for the kids, but apparently she did, at Cracker Barrel last year.

So now we won't forget who got these for the kids. It's in writing! And who doesn't love them some Christmas sock monkey? Big Boy already likes to come up to it and point out the monkey to me. I hope you treasure it as the years wear on, kiddo.

Thanks, Amanda, as always, for giving me wonderful things to think about and to share with my family.

A first....

Big Boy's first broken ornament. Sigh... I knew it would happen eventually - just not so soon!

We had a friend come over and take some family pictures for Christmas (I'll post some pictures as soon as I get them!). We were sitting in front of the tree, and Big Boy, you wanted to hold your "Bas-eh-ball" ornament! So we let you hold it in several pictures. Next thing we know, you're running off into the den, holding the glass ornament. Then we heard, "CRUNCH!" Nice... I'm thankful you didn't cut yourself, Big Boy!

We bought this ornament in a set of sports balls for you last year - they are officially your first ornaments. I'm glad we have a football, soccer ball, golf ball, basketball, and a tennis ball left. And we have pictures of the bas-eh-ball for the memories.

Fun experiment

So the NaBloPoMo was a fun experiment. I wasn't sure if I could do it - post everyday - but I did. And I learned some things about myself along the way. I have also established a pretty good routine with blogging, and I feel certain I can keep this up. I wanted to be able to beef up this blog with stories for you guys, and I want to keep going.

So here's to NaBloPoMo, and to my boys!

3 weeks!

3 weeks from tomorrow, Baby D will be entering the world! Unless the Lord has other plans, of course. But as of right now, we are scheduled for a c-section on Friday, December 21st. In a way, I cannot believe it is so close. 3 weeks! I have to do so much still to get the nursery ready....

In another way, I cannot believe I still have 3 weeks to go. I feel like I have been pregnant forever this time. With Big Boy, I had nothing else to concentrate on except being pregnant - I sat at work for 8 months and loved every minute of it. This time, the pain is more evident - I'm more active chasing after the Big Boy, and while I haven't felt like I've had the time to count every day as with the first pregnancy, it has seemed like a much longer time.

I think I've written about this before - maybe earlier this month. Baby D, don't get me wrong. I've loved all the same things about being pregnant - knowing that my body is being used to grow a big, strong baby boy, being able to feel you move (and move and move!)... But I am so ready to hold you in my arms! Seeing our family complete (again, unless the Lord has other plans) will be absolutely amazing! And spending Christmas day this year at home, surrounded with love and family... I am so excited!

We get to have another ultrasound with you in 2 weeks, Baby D. I'll post the pictures when I can. I love you and can't wait to meet you!

UNCADO!!!

Worries....

Guys, your Momma is a worrier. I continually try to hand things over to God, and it is a constant struggle.

Big Boy, you've inherited your Daddy's allergies. You'd think that with me having no allergies, it would balance out.... But eggs, peanuts, dogs, melons.... and we don't know what else.... all get you going. Since last week, you've had some hives, and more worrisome, some swelling of your feet and hands. It looks so painful, Big Boy. At first I thought it was caused by your kicking your crib slats and the wall in your room (you do that when you are awake in the crib!). But it has developed at other times, too... We went to the Doctor last week, and they said it was some sort of allergic reaction, but they couldn't pinpoint it... we've been giving you Benedryl for the past week, but it's time to figure out what's going on here!

Lord, I lift this child up to you. Please heal him and give us all peace.

5 Things You Want Your Kids To Know (Before They Grow Up)

I found a website called the Daily Meme. Like I said, I just needed some creative ideas to keep writing....

5 Things You Want Your Kids To Know (Before They Grow Up)

• I want you guys to learn how to win and lose gracefully.
• I want you to learn how to be respectful towards others at all times.
• I want you to learn how to love.
• I want you to know how much you are loved.
• I want you to know the love of Christ.

Hmmm.... that all came out rather quickly and easily. I thought it would be harder than that. I know there is more I want you to know... but I think that's a pretty good start.

I love you!

Your Momma

Sigh...

After several days of fun posts, I'm afraid I'm back to the regular, run-of-the-mill daily update posts. I'll have to find a meme or brainstorm some creative ideas...

Today I'm not feeling so good. I woke up dizzy, so you and I stayed home from church, Big Boy. Nothing too exciting happened - Gam came over to keep us company and to save you from a morning of TV watching. I laid on the couch, and haven't done much since.

So until tomorrow (and a better day, I pray!)....

Us as elves!

I hopped on the elf bandwagon!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9593705305

I tell ya, it made the Big Boy laugh really hard!

Here is a screen shot in case the link doesn't work for years and years and years...

Do I like it?

Yesterday, after all the Thanksgiving festivities, I was walking past the mirror hanging over our couch. It was late - past your bedtime, Big Boy. Your Daddy was someplace else in the house.... I'm not sure where. I glanced in the mirror, which I typically don't do much now these days. I glanced, and then took a longer look.

It made me wonder if I was happy with what I saw. I stood there looking for a while, and I came away pleased with my answer, over all. While I'm not so stoked about the way I look right now (overweight even besides being pregnant, hair in a growing out phase, no make-up, clothing with grubby handprints all over it), I was thankful that the physical was not all I saw.

I also saw someone I was really proud of.... someone that 10 years ago I never thought I would become. A wifey who is loved by a hubby who continuously shows her his love, a mommy who is preferred over all others, a woman who is about to give birth to another beautiful baby, a woman of God who is trying her hardest to stay close to Him, a friend with love in her heart, a 31 year old who has accomplished much in her life and who is settled in to who she is now.

I can't remember exactly who I thought I'd be 10 years ago.... I know in high school I thought I'd be a Broadway star. Early college, it was an opera star. Early in college I also thought I would never get married - why "mess up" a perfectly good and independent life? And forget about kids... Early grad school, I saw myself as a college professor somewhere, singing as much as I could. Then I became a Christian, and God told me to "Wait." I had no idea what I was waiting for, and I think that's when I stopped projecting different roles onto myself. I was living day by day, waiting for God to reveal Himself to me.

Now I know what I was supposed to wait for. And it was well worth the wait.

Happy Thanksgiving

I am thankful for...

My God, who sent His Son to be my Savior.
My wonderful husband, who is my best friend.
My amazing son, who makes me laugh daily.
My family, immediate and in-laws.
My friends, near and far.
My health, which is really good despite my aches and pains.
The provisions the Lord provides for my family.

Christmas to me....

I'm so glad Amanda asked this question....

What gets you ready for Christmas? What ushers in the holiday for you?

I'm getting a little weary myself of the "Big Boy, you did this," and "Baby D, I can't wait for this," posts. So here's something to break up the monotony of mommy-posts....

Christmas to me is about memories. The wonderful family I was blessed with - and the fun we've had Christmas-in and Christmas-out.... And what starts the memories flooding back are the sounds and smells.

Oh, the sounds of Christmas! I know that as a child I had one Christmas record. I have no idea what it was called, or where it is now. But I know it had I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas, All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth, and I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus on it. Those 3 songs, played over and over, bring back some hilarious memories! Mostly of my brother and I trying hard not to peek into gifts, and the two of us (maybe more, with cousins, depending on the year) having to wait in our bedroom doors until Mom and Dad said we could come into the living room to see what Santa had brought us.

Later, as more radio stations started playing "All-Christmas-From-Thanksgiving-To-New-Years," my song repetoire grew greatly. But not enough - you'll soon learn that it seems like the radio stations play the same songs over and over... I know there's not as large of a choice of songs as there normally is, but there are some great songs that never get played!

So I started searching for my own Christmas collections to supplement what I heard on the radio. One of my first (besides the above mentioned record) was - now don't laugh - New Kids On The Block's Merry Merry Christmas. Sigh... I was young and foolish. Since then, I've leaned more towards the classic Christmas songs, recorded by Bing, Frank, and others. I have some wonderful compliations with their songs. I also adore Harry, who has 2 Christmas albums out.

My years in music school left me with quite a selection of classical Christmas music, too. No Christmas is complete without a Robert Shaw Christmas CD - one of the best Christmas "shows" I've ever been a part of. I sang as a professional Christmas caroler one year (yes, with a full Victorian dress and hat!), and it exposed me to a huge array of Christmas hymns and old-timey carols that I adore. One thing I'd like to start as a family tradition is singing carols together... maybe as your aunt plays piano, or as your Daddy plays guitar.

And mmmmm, the smells of Christmas! Whether it's something actually baking, some heavenly-scented candles, or a real-cherry wood fire in the fireplace, all I have to do is "smell Christmas" and I'm transported to a place of twinkle lights and Christmas carols. mmmmm.... so when you find me lying on the couch, eyes closed and humming, and all you can find is some cinnamon potpourri burning on the stove... you know where I've gone!

If you'd like to read more Christmas stories, click over to Amanda's and read some of the other posts submitted. I'm on my way now!

a picture from last year's "Christmas photo shoot!"

You said his name!

Baby D, Big Boy loves you so much! We've been reading a book called I'm a Big Brother, and Big Boy knows he's going to be a big brother. Today, he said your name without prompting! We were walking through Target, and he started patting my belly - and I said, "Be gentle with the baby!" Then he said it - your name, loud and clear! I'm excited for you to meet each other... not too long now!

Dressing to impress the ladies!

Trust me, this bug shirt makes you irresistible! Your little girlfriend couldn't keep her hands off of you this morning!

Emmi's in heaven!

Dancin' Man!

Not only are you a singer, you're also a dancin' fool, Big Boy! Tonight, Daddy's band played at a youth group event at our church. For a while, you sat on a couple laps, clapping to the music - until you couldn't stand it anymore. You met me at the back of the room, and you danced. Danced, danced, danced.... With your whole body you danced! On tiptoes, arms pumping - you were really into it. And it was a joy to see! You would look around occasionally, as if you were wondering why no one else was dancing - and then you'd start again. I pray you sleep really well tonight, kiddo! I know I will!

2 already?!?

Big Boy - you are only 22 months old. Please stop with the "terrible 2s" stuff. It is so hard for me to handle at this point. I wish I could take you outside and let you run all your energy out, so you wouldn't have it in you to pitch fits and yell... and today: no nap. Oh, so bad. Thankfully you are already asleep - when Daddy came home from work today he helped to wear you out.

But kiddo, you're wearing me out...

Rainy days....

Oooo, today was a wonderful day. Nice, chilly, and rainy. I say nice because we didn't have to go outside in it. We did, though - Big Boy, you and I sat on the front porch and watched the rain and leaves come down. You loved it! You even tried to run out into the cold rain... but you were also very willing to come back inside.

We had a great day today. Yes, some TV watching happened, but also did 2 loads of laundry, and the kitchen floor got mopped. You "helped" me mop the foyer, too. We both took nice long naps, and we played with blocks, and your trains, and we colored, and we made a little video tape for Daddy (and for prosperity).

I can see how rainy days in the future could cause some cabin fever. I almost ran out of my measly little bank of ideas... I'll have to figure out some new rainy day activities before we stay in for a full day again. Thankfully, it's not supposed to rain tomorrow, because we have some errands to run.

Another look...

Baby D, I found out today that I get to have another ultrasound for you in the middle of December. I'm so excited- I can't wait to see how much you've grown. It will be the next best thing to actually holding you in my arms.

Singing....

Big Boy, Big Boy, Big Boy.... I hafta tell ya - you've been on thin ice lately. Hurting Momma's feelings is not a nice thing - though I have expected it (stories from moms being told they have bad breath, etc., have been a nice warning). And I know that at nearly 22 months, you just don't know if you hurt someone's feelings.

Lately, you've been telling me to stop singing. Gasp! What in the world? No one has told me to stop singing since UncaDo (way, way back in the day) very nicely told me he was sick and tired of hearing me sing. I think his exact words were, "You have a very nice voice - I just am tired of hearing you sing all the time!" (He must've thought that one out for a while - normally he was not that diplomatic). And I know that as a voice major, not everyone liked my voice. Heck, look at all the roles I didn't get! But nobody ever told me to stop singing!

It took me a couple times to understand what you meant. You don't flat out say, "Stop." You say, "No, Momma, No!" over and over as I sing. And at first, I thought you just didn't like the song, "Jesus Loves Me." I was sad about that - you're going to hear that many, many times in your life, and it is the truth - He does love you. Then I thought you just wanted to say "No," to the part in the song that says, "Yes, Jesus loves me!" because you're a very contrary boy these days. Then I realized, it wasn't just that song. It was also the ABCs and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, your two most favorite songs in the whole world.

So tonight, as I'm rocking you in your room before bedtime, we said our prayers (as always, you blessed UncaDo's socks off!). Then I sang "God is so good" to you. Normally, you listen to a new song, and that's a newer one to you. Then we broke into Twinkle, Twinkle... You started it, and I joined in. After I sang about one line, you stopped me with an emphatic, "No, Momma!" OK.... So I asked you if you wanted to sing it to me, alone. You said, "Yes!" and proceeded to sing it to me! You caught me whispering it along with you, and you stopped me again. You sang it alone a total of 3 times. Good for you, Big Boy. I'm so proud. Sing on, my son!

I love you,
Momma

PS - Baby D - please stop trying to dig out my right side. That's not how you'll get out. And it's most uncomfortable.

A hat with a story...

Big Boy.... here's a hat you'll have for years. How do I know? Because it's been in the family for generations. My family... because even though I'm a Miller now, I was a Miller before I got married. I prayed a little prayer in high school that I would marry a man whose last name was Miller - so I didn't have to change my name (I thought my name would be a good stage name - easy to remember, has a nice ring to it...). And Miller is one of the most plentiful last names in the US. I love the little reminders that God answers prayers....

So this hat - it was your Poppy's hat in the 70's. Then your UncaDo and I wore it (and one other one almost just like it) through the 80's.... in the 90's we laughed about it - and then, when I left home, your UncaDo inherited it. We had a lot of other Miller Beer paraphernalia (it was hard not to have it when your Poppy's standard response over the phone when giving his name was "Miller - just like the beer!") - but this is the only one that I think survived. Unless there are more stored away in Gam and Poppy's attic. We'll see....

I'm glad you like it - it has a lot of history. You just won't be able to wear it out in public - ever, I think.

Big Boy's latest obsession...

Hats!

Or rather, anything that can go upon one's head... including Momma's scarves and headbands.

And last night the winner was....

.... at 3 in the morning, it was the theme song from, "It's a Big, Big World." I haven't heard that one in a while, so I wonder where it came from!

Big Boy, today you saw your first marathon. You had a great time yelling, "Go, running, go!" at the runners as they passed. And you kept wanting to see the "running, again, please?"

You had a great time with Daddy today. Lots of wrestling, lots of cuddling. And Baby D, you gave a good show for Daddy, too - thrashing about appropriately- letting him (and me!) know you were there!

I love having a lazy Saturday at home... I look forward to many more with you guys.

Never say never...

Guys, I had such grand ideas about parenting before I became a parent. Never would I formula-feed. Never would I use a pacifier. Never would I yell. Never would my child watch TV before the age of 2.... sigh. I admit I have eaten my words on each one of those statements, and many more. And while most of the statements I made were made judgementally and I found out through experience that I'm going to do more things while I'm a parent than I ever thought I'd do.

Unfortunately, the TV-watching has already gotten out of hand. And Big Boy, you're not even 2 years old yet. I admit to using the TV more than I should, to get a little bit of quiet time. At this point, it's a habit for both you and me. And since I'm so tired from being pregnant with Baby D, I'm not sure that this habit will change for a while. I'm sorry, Big Boy. I hope that this does not affect you negatively. Granted, I was raised on watching TV, and I think I turned out pretty OK....

But the funny thing is how much you tell on us for watching TV! You are always asking for your favorites... "Elmo?" "Gabba?" "Art-ur?" "Calliou?" "George?" "Y?" You run through your list to see who might be on at the time... and I'm afraid your Daddy thinks we sit at home all day and watch TV. We don't, but man, you make it sound like it! And instead of the music that normally runs through my head (praise songs, even songs I hear on the radio), I wake up at 3:00am singing the theme song to Arthur, Clifford, or Super Why. It gets stuck in my head, and I cannot get it out! The sleepless nights are bad enough, but with these songs running through my head, it's pretty much excruciating.

"Clifford needed Emily, so she chose him for her own.
And her love made Clifford grow so big that the Howards had to leave their home...."

Dear Lord, protect them...

It's a scary, scary world that we live in today, guys. I was thinking about adding links to some of the top stories that came out recently (mostly about toys and bottles that are not safe for kiddos to use or play with), but I'm not going to do it. You don't need to read these scary things. Just know that your Daddy and I are going to do our best to protect you in every way. And we leave everything in the Lord's hands.... I was going to say everything we can't control in the Lord's hands. Yes, we leave everything we can't control, but also everything we can. Period. We are entrusted with your care while we are here, but you are the Lord's. And I am so thankful that the Heavenly Father loves and cares for each one of us. There is so much hope in His love. I pray that you come to know the Lord's love in your lives.

I love you both,
Momma

It sneaks up on ya...

Your Daddy said something interesting to me yesterday. He was putzing around in the kitchen, and he mentioned that sometimes he cannot believe that he is in charge of a child. I reminded him that it was soon to be 2 children, and then I asked him a couple questions. Is it that you don't feel "old" enough, responsible enough? What it is that makes him say that? Yes, it was both of those things. He doesn't feel like he's changed enough to be able to take on the responsibility of being a father. The good news is, the Lord knows your Daddy's heart, and knows his actual growth and change - and deemed him ready! Goodness, ready enough to bear the whole financial burden of providing for a family by himself! It does sneak up on you, though... it seems like one day you're living life, trying to live in the path the Lord has for you, and then - bam - you're married with 2 children. Wow. It is a huge responsibility... and I am very proud and thankful that your Daddy is obeying God with us as his family.

Clear proof that your Daddy is ready to be in charge of kids.

One word from the Big Boy....

"Shruckump!"

Why I thought I was having a girl....

Baby D, I have to tell ya - you surprised me. I know no two pregnancies are the same, but before we found out you were a boy at our 20 week appointment (on August 22nd)... I was sure you were going to be a girl.

Why? Well, let's see... at the beginning of my pregnancy with you, everything was completely different. And by everything, I mean that I had virtually no nausea. With Big Boy, I was sick for the first 3 months solid. With you, I was sick a total of 2 days. That was it! And so I just knew you were going to be a girl!

I was really relieved when I found out you were a boy! I think it would be fun to have a girl, but now I don't have to deal with princesses and that kind of stuff. Now, I will get all kinds of fun boy things, like cars and dinosaurs, mud and bugs. And I am so happy! It will be just me and my guys....

And I cannot wait to see you and Big Boy grow up together. Bunk beds and everything - I think you two will be great friends. I know there will be plenty of fights (Daddy is already teaching Big Boy about wrestling - don't worry, he'll get you caught up!), but I also know there will be plenty of love.

I always felt like I would be a Momma to boys. The Lord knew my heart, and He has filled me to overflowing!

I was going to post an ultrasound picture showing you are a boy - but the pictures are all kind of.... explicit!

My Musical Man

Big Boy, I have big hopes for you. With your Daddy's natural talent and my desire in you somewhere (I hope!), I hope you're going to be big stuff musically. That's my dream for you - to be able to experience the joy of music - the emotional and spiritual outlet that music is. That's my dream for both of my guys, in fact. I just don't know about you yet, Baby D. I haven't seen your "moves" yet.



You, on the other hand, Big Boy, show everyone your moves. You should've seen yourself rocking out tonight to some DMB. You were on fire! As soon as I figure out this online video thing, I'll post some footage that your Daddy took of you tonight. I think you're going to be a drummer - you're always beating on something, and your dance moves are, well... singular. I've never seen anybody use his arms the way you do! I'm such a proud Momma!



And then - you sing so many songs! You love to sing your ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Jesus Loves Me, Old McDonald, and the Itsy-Bitsy Spider. And you're always surprising me by singing snippets of songs that are on CDs that we play together. Absolutely amazing. I think I have some Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on video, too... I'll post that sometime this month.



My Musical Man... Lord, help me show my children how to worship you in song - in spirit and in truth!

Why your Momma is "cool"

Ha! I have no idea what else to call this post, guys... I don't need for you to think I'm "cool" in anyway. I'm a parent now, and I distinctly remember how un-cool parents are. And I don't need to be your friend - the Lord has put me here to be your Mom, not your BFF. What I do want, and will be working to instill in you both, is your love and respect. I haven't thought much further than that, yet, so there may be more that I want, but I know those two will always top the list!

Anyway - I was thinking about something that happened to me in the past, and I thought to myself, "I need to remember to tell the boys that when they get older. They'll think that's so cool!" (see the first thing on my list). So I thought this would be a perfect place to write it (and other things) down, so that if I do forget to tell you, you'll be able to read it someday. And I'm trying to gear this to you two as boys - but if I sneak something in that might be a bit girly, well... it's because I think it's cool. So here goes!

• I once talked with John Elway (don't worry - you'll know who this is). Well, maybe talked with is a little... hm, let's say I spoke to him. And he did speak back. But we didn't really "talk with" each other. Back story: when I was in grad school in Colorado, the Broncos did their pre-season training at UNC - and were often working out at the Rec Center during normal hours. It was pretty much an unwritten rule that if they were in here working out, you did not hound them for autographs, etc. Well, one day I happened to be at the Rec Center playing racquetball with my roommate, and I walked across the gym floor for something - probably some water. John Elway was walking past me, and I said, "hi..." He, in return, said, "Hey." I'm pretty sure that's how it went. I don't remember exactly because I was too excited. But I think it was really cool. It was the year that he retired.
• Said roommate of the racquetball game was Miss Alabama in 1995 - and she made it to the top 10 in the Miss America Pagent. Yeah, she is really pretty.
• I can sing 2 tones at one time. This is not a common thing - the only other people I know of that can do this are a group of monks in Tibet. I do not sound pretty when I do this - I used to freak out my roommates when I did it.
• Some milestones you might think are cool when you get older: Becoming a college professor at age 22. Getting my Master's degree at age 23. Owning a home by age 25.
• I was one of the only people in my high school (and college for that matter) who drove a stick shift (don't worry - you'll know how to do this one day, too). I'm not sure why - but none of the other girls did, and only some of the guys. I happen to think that this is an indispensable skill, and it allowed me to be able to get into any car at anytime and drive if the situation called for it. It has allowed me to drive some pretty cool cars, period!
• If you turn out to be musicians, you'll think this is cool - I sang with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra Chorus under Robert Shaw - while in high school. It was the best opportunity I had in my musical career - it taught me so much about music and about me.
• I love The Beatles (don't worry - you will know who this is).
• I love football (Go 'Skins!) and baseball (Go Braves!). I love watching hockey, but only live games (and I don't have a favorite team). I like watching golf - it's good to nap to (and don't worry, you dad knows I feel this way).
• When I played intramural (flag) football in college, I got the most penalties called on me, because when I ran at all the "little" girls in my way, they would just fall down. I swear, I never touched them! But they fell down, and I got in trouble. Humph.
• When I played football with the guys, I could get the QB more often then not. So there. And no "little" girls fell down. Only if I knocked them down.

OK - that's all the boy-coolness I can think of now. A lot things would continue to fall into girly-coolness, so I'll leave them off - but if you want to know, just ask!

Love you guys!

Ok, guys....

You guys are wearing me out. I have no idea how I'm going to make it through the last 2 months of this pregnancy...

Baby D - why won't you let me sleep? Just as I lie down to go to bed, you start kicking. Then my mind starts racing, and I realize how incredibly uncomfortable I am, so I get up. Hopefully I'll be able to get to sleep before 2:00am. That has seemed to be the magic hour for me lately.

I would also like to know what is up with the heartburn and hip pain? And why such extreme hip pain? Why not just a little? When I lay down on my side (the only way I can sleep right now), it makes the pain worse. I'm ready for you to be here, Baby D. To hold you in my arms, to put an end to this pain, and to start our new life with you!

Big Boy - why did you have to start your "terrible twos" so early? I can't deal with tantrums right now! Mentally, emotionally, and physically - when you break down, I want to break down. Granted, when you are good, you are very, very good. For example, I was crying today for some reason, and you walked into the room when you heard me. You asked, "Momma crying?" I said, "Yes, sweetie, Momma's crying. Can you give me a hug?" You walked right over and gave me a big hug and a kiss (I didn't even ask for a kiss!), and you snuggled right into me. Helped me stop crying almost immediately - all I could do was hug you close. Then, for whatever reason, you reached up to my face and tried to push my frown away. That's the only way I can describe it - you reached up and pushed the sides of my mouth up like you wanted me to smile. It was so... sweet and compassionate.


I'll save the descriptions of your tantrums for a later date. Let's end on this happy note...

"Mommy's Journal"

In April of this year, I started a "Mommy's Journal" - just a Word document on my desktop that I was going to enter things into daily about you, Big Boy... well, as you'll see below, I didn't keep up with it that well - and I kept apologizing for it there, too! That's why I started this blog - thinking that if it was out there for others to read, too, it might motivate me more.

I wanted to have the entries I made into this "journal" here, too, so everything was in one place. So here goes!

Mommy’s Journal About the Big Boy.
Finally.
Started this day, April 18, 2007.
10:31am.

I feel so bad about not having written things down lately. I have tons of notes from your first year, and I will be transferring them into your baby book. Some day. But there are so many things you do each day that crack me and your daddy up, and I want to share them with you. Our computer is now in our den, so I can watch you be adorable and then run and write about it.
For example, today you have already done the cutest things:
Laid on your belly and picked up the dust bunnies from underneath the butcher block island in the kitchen. Maybe this isn’t so cute, because it’s pretty gross that there are still dust bunnies underneath the island, but it was pretty funny. You were absolutely silent, and I just knew something was going on.
Signed “Thank you” to Gam when she gave you a piece of her apple. And this was after you said and signed “Please” to her. You’re adorable!

I’m sure there will be more today. This is just what I can remember from this morning.

Now I need to get started on a list of what you can say, so I can show the Dr. how amazingly smart you are when we go for your 15 month check-up next week.

Things You Can Say At 15 Months Old:
Mama

Da = dad
No (can shake head)

Yes (can nod)
OK My = mine
Daw = dog

Ca = cat
Meow Moo
Bir = bird (can sign)

Duh = duck
KaKaKa = quack

Pees = please (can sign)
Mo = more (can sign)

Ta ta = Thank you (can sign)
Cah = car

Tuh = truck
Go

Bye
Hi

Ah-doh = hello
Ah-to = Achoo

MeMe = Madelyn
Goo = Uncle Drew

Buh = book
Chuh = train

Oo Oo Oo = monkey
Boo = balloon

Yuck = yucky
Sah = sock

Choo = shoe
Toe

Noe = nose
Ba = ball

Ju = juice
Mih = milk

You can also do a plethora of amazing things…

May 22, 2007
Picking up after a long lapse…

I intended to write in here on a regular basis… you’re such a busy boy to chase after, though!

The list of the amazing things you can do continues to grow… and what used to be amazing is now commonplace for you. The new things I’ve seen you do in the past couple days include hitting (especially hitting me), hugging your daddy without being asked (this is the sweetest thing ever), running in circles, sharing your goldfish crackers, and laughing while I brush your teeth. You are the cutest thing ever (except for the hitting).

That’s right! You’re going to be a big brother! And you’re going to be such a good big brother. You love other kids – both older and younger. I can’t wait to see you with your little sibling.

I'm sorry, guys....

I really wanted to keep up with this as a way to capture my thoughts and feelings during my pregnancy with you, Baby D (sorry - Daddy does not like "Buddy" for you - so it's Baby D until something else sticks...) and to document your ever-changing self, Big Boy. There are hundreds of excuses, but no more! Last night, I signed up to participate in NaBloPoMo, which will have me posting every day in November!!! I already have a list of things I want to tell you guys about - so I will pour it all out to you in the next 30 days.... I'm excited.

I love you both.

Momma

In one week...

In one week, you grew up. My Big Boy is even bigger now! Hubby and I went to Myrtle Beach for a vacation - alone, without children. We figured it will be the last time in a long time we were able to get away for a week without kids.

Never mind that every child we saw reminded us of you. That everything we did, I was thinking how much fun you'd have doing it. Running on the beach, playing miniature golf, looking at sharks up-close at the aquarium, playing in the waves... I am so excited about our future family vacations. I'm sorry I wasn't ready to take a 19 month old child out of town for a week... I did need a break before the new baby comes. But the vacations for years to come... I am so looking forward to them!

Every day we called for an update. And every day, we got to hear your little-bitty voice on the phone, saying, "Hi, Mommy! Hi, Daddy!" And every day my heart broke a little more - knowing that you had a little life without me. Even if just for a week.

We came to pick you up at Gam and Poppy's house today. You looked so big - definitely not the little boy we left last week. No, you're now a little man. After pulling shy for a nano-second, you gave us both hugs and kisses, then ran to show us your box and your drums and your balloon - everything you accumulated at Gam and Poppy's over the week. And then... you wouldn't let us go. You held our hands and snuggled with us, and cried when we left the room to go to the bathroom. Gam said you were very well-behaved - even better than when we were there. I believe it - you were testing us out again - seeing where your boundaries were again.

But the joy on your face seeing us again made me cry. I am so glad to be at home with you again. It's you and me, Big Boy. My even bigger Big Boy.

I found it!

OK, baby #2! We have decided on your real name - and I've decided on your blog name. Henceforth, Baby #2 will be called "Buddy." Big Boy and Buddy. I think they go well together!

Big Boy is waiting for his Buddy!

To my boys....

My darling boys - to those who are already with me and the one yet to be born,

I started this site last week, when I found out we were having another baby boy. I've wanted to do something special for my boys, and I thought that this might be a more consistent way for me to keep track of all the amazingness that you guys are - all the amazingness that you bring into my life. I hope that this site is a wonderful catch-all of pictures, stories, and memories - and that one day I can print it all out for you to keep forever.

I'm a tomboy at heart, and I knew in my heart of hearts that I would be a mom of boys. A little part of me wanted ribbons and dresses, but the excitement of mud pies and choo-choo trains outweighs that by far! The Lord knew what I needed, and He knew what to surround me with... and I am so excited for the years to come!

To Big Boy: you are going to be a GREAT big brother. You should've seen yourself with your little cousin tonight. You were so gentle with her - wanting to see her and hold her, rock her and give her a pacifier. You laughed at her little faces, all while keeping your hands to yourself! See why you're my Big Boy? and only 18 months old!!!

To our littlest one (I'll think of a good name for you soon!): we are so excited that you are coming into our lives this December. We cannot wait to hold you in our arms and love on you! You are already so active - kicking me, letting me know you are there. You will add a wonderful fullness to our little family!

To my Hubby: thank you for everything. Everything you do, everything you are. The Lord has truly blessed me through you, and I am thankful!

I don't think that all my posts will be this sappy.... I'm not such a sappy person in general. But I wanted to let you, my boys, know about the love overflowing in my heart.