Friday, November 23, 2007

Do I like it?

Yesterday, after all the Thanksgiving festivities, I was walking past the mirror hanging over our couch. It was late - past your bedtime, Big Boy. Your Daddy was someplace else in the house.... I'm not sure where. I glanced in the mirror, which I typically don't do much now these days. I glanced, and then took a longer look.

It made me wonder if I was happy with what I saw. I stood there looking for a while, and I came away pleased with my answer, over all. While I'm not so stoked about the way I look right now (overweight even besides being pregnant, hair in a growing out phase, no make-up, clothing with grubby handprints all over it), I was thankful that the physical was not all I saw.

I also saw someone I was really proud of.... someone that 10 years ago I never thought I would become. A wifey who is loved by a hubby who continuously shows her his love, a mommy who is preferred over all others, a woman who is about to give birth to another beautiful baby, a woman of God who is trying her hardest to stay close to Him, a friend with love in her heart, a 31 year old who has accomplished much in her life and who is settled in to who she is now.

I can't remember exactly who I thought I'd be 10 years ago.... I know in high school I thought I'd be a Broadway star. Early college, it was an opera star. Early in college I also thought I would never get married - why "mess up" a perfectly good and independent life? And forget about kids... Early grad school, I saw myself as a college professor somewhere, singing as much as I could. Then I became a Christian, and God told me to "Wait." I had no idea what I was waiting for, and I think that's when I stopped projecting different roles onto myself. I was living day by day, waiting for God to reveal Himself to me.

Now I know what I was supposed to wait for. And it was well worth the wait.